Why does this bug me?

[bcholmes]

Siobhan asked me why this is bugging me so much.

"Is it because she's talking about things publically?"

No. I can understand that part.

I do have a problem with her take on a number of things, and her recollection of some events bears no resemblance to my own. It bothers me that there's such a wide gap between her recollection and my own.

What really sticks in my craw is stuff that I know we've discussed before and which I thought we'd worked out. It's like she's completely rewritten all those previous discussions into something... nasty.

And then there's stuff that, from my perspective, appears completely fabricated. Things she claims that I said or did. What's up with that?

Comments

[kalikanzara.livejournal.com]

I keep wanting to say something to this; I've had some recent experience with having friends that are still friends with both me and my ex-, and I had a lot of fears early on that there were going to be problems with her POV becoming the group POV, and I keep wanting to generalize and say something, and failing to get coherent.

Aha. I think it formulated.

I think I tend to try to see lots of angles, alternatives - I pr'y don't do it as much as I think I do (looking at myself with alternatives, how's that for recursion). I remember reading about cellege research about how one could show a minor fenderbender on video, and then by asking "Please describe the fender-bender" or "What happened at the crash scene", you'd get measurably different stories from people. People would tell you about the broken glass strewn in the street after the "accident", whereas the "incident" people would remember it differently. (In the vide, there was no broken glass, IIRC). I've also heard that memories, when accessed, change - we look at our memories through the filter of ourselves at that moment.

Urk. Um. None of this is really saying anything new, maybe, and it's the nth revision and I'm going home from work and taking a nap, now. But I'm just sayin', is all.