Damned Nut

[bcholmes]

When I was at WisCon last May, the ultra cool and sexy Ian Hagemann talked about "nut and bolt" issues in relationships. He said: "say you have a bolt. And say you have a nut. If they're threaded to the same gauge, they actually fit together. If not, it doesn't make a lot of sense for the nut to go around saying 'that godamned bolt. How dare it be threaded that way?' or for the bolt to say, 'that stupid nut. What is its problem?'"

I thought that this was a nifty metaphor. Has anyone actually succeeded in thinking that way?

Comments

I think so

[starstraf.livejournal.com]

I know that there are not only certain issues but just certain people that as much as I love them a realtionship with them just would not work. And sometimes it takes being wtih them for a while to realize that, and you have to end the realtionship. For example the amazing-ex-wife and I are still very close friends but just not good healthy partners for each other. (But then again I Have some ex's that it is more then that - and there is blame and anger)

Same is true for sexuality. one persons "WONDERFUL amazing sexual partner" can be a dud for someone else.