On Their Backs

[bcholmes]

So I finally went out and picked up the April/May 2002 issue of On Our Backs: The Best of Lesbian Sex. A friend of mine told me about this issue last December, and an earlier issue (December/January) provided a sneak preview.

Anyway, the key thing about the issue is that is has a photo shoot of a transsexual woman -- this is the first transsexual woman to appear in On Our Backs according to the hype.

'Bout time, I figure. The magazine has been great about doing photo shoots of various body shapes (fat girls on the cover! Yay!), ethnicities, kinks, expressions (butchy butches and girly girls), and what have you. There have been a number of transmen in the mag. But this is the first transsexual woman. Interestingly, this issue also had the following comments in its "Letters to the Editor" page:

I wish you'd cut down on showing so many transpeople. [...] I hate having transgenderism shoved in my face at every turn.

- Name withheld

As a lesbian, I'm a bit lost in this gender-bending vogue.

- Susan [last name withheld]

Because we know that Real Lesbians^TM never do anything to bend gender.

While I have nothing against transgender erotica I don't see it as being appropriate fare for a magazine claiming to offer "the best of lesbian sex."

- Name withheld

And this really kinda bums me out. I guess I've been in enough trans positive dyke space that I'm really quite thrown off when I run into comments like that. To be fair, there were a number of trans positive letters in the mag as well. But.

So, I'm feeling a bit grumpy at the moment.

(For the record: I really like On Our Backs -- I like their attitudes, their ideas, and their politics -- and I don't want my annoyance with some of their readership to be taken as a complaint against the mag. I've considered subscribing on several occasions, except that I also like supporting Glad Day Bookstore, where I regularly pick up my copy of the mag. For visitors to Roxton Manor, back issues are kept in the downstairs bathroom.)

Comments

[starstraf.livejournal.com]

my experence has been that under 35 women's space or dyke space is trans accepting and Andrea is often welcome. but if the average age is over 35 she is not.

I also have found (Massive generalization here)
if it is spelled with a Y then Y chormosons are not welcome

If they are not trans friendly then they tend to be only tolerant of bisexuals

Star (Who usually feels out of place and unwelcome in womens space, to the point that the words feminist or womens space makes my cringe and avoid)

Preaching to the converted...

[baratron.livejournal.com]

It seems every time I pick up a lesbian magazine there's someone in the letters page bitching about transgender issues. It's about 50:50 whether she's moaning that there's too much or not enough :) It's probably just bad luck that you picked up an issue with "too much" - hope you don't feel too stressed about it.

But I am surprised that Jessica is the first transwoman to be included. I've had two transsexual girlfriends who transitioned at an early enough age that someone could even have sex with them without knowing that they didn't start out as women - so why is it such an issue for people?

I think the problem is far more fundamental than women not wanting to see biological penises in a lesbian magazine. After all, a) there are plenty of transwomen who no longer have a penis and (b) you can take erotic pictures of someone without showing what's in her pants. It's more lack of understanding of the issues. Firstly, some gay people (both gay men and lesbians) have a real problem with transsexuals because they mess up their internalised idea of what it means to be attracted to the same-sex. I suspect that a lot of the people who are complaining about trans stuff in a lesbian magazine fall into this category.

Then, there are the people who shout "male privilege". I understand intellectually that people who are men (and white, and straight) have a certain amount of privilege in the world - but it doesn't make sense to me to claim that a transwoman has "male privilege" unless she was genuinely happy living as a man. Which, from the transwomen I've spoken to, seems pretty unlikely.

Then, there are the people who are okay with transsexuals existing in theory, and even being part of the LGBT movement - but would utterly freak out to discover that someone they were attracted to was trans. There's been a long-running thread in Venus Envy (http://venusenvy.keenspace.com/) about a lesbian fancying the transsexual lead character, then freaking out to discover that she has a penis.

None of these reasons make sense to me, but I'm very comfortable with the idea of a plurality of genders, and I've always defined myself as open to any gender, and these days I'm secure enough in my queerness to be comfortable having a relationship with an apparently-heterosexual male. I'm seeing this from the perspective that rather than being angry at not being included, you should feel sorry for people who aren't sympathetic enough to try to understand what it's like to be trans - seeing it as their problem, not yours. Then again, I'm not the one being excluded here.

If I have any problem with seeing transsexuals in a lesbian magazine, it would be with transmen - because they're men. Now, I understand intellectually the reasons why transmen are allowed - for instance, many of them lived as butch dykes for years before deciding to transition - and it makes no difference to me in any case as I define as "open to any gender". I don't actually care what the cute person in front of me thinks of their gender as, as long as I know what they like to do sexually and what pronoun they prefer. But I can't help feeling that a lot of lesbians' attitude to transmen is "well, they've never had a penis, so they're okay". And "maybe they'll change their mind and stay women. Whereas a transwoman could change her mind and stay a man. And letting a man into lesbian space would be horrendous!". And it's that attitude, and lack of understanding that bugs me more than anything else.

Male Privilege

[kalikanzara.livejournal.com]

I've been sitting on the gender fence so long and not deciding which way I want to go that if I were a tree I'd be growing around it and lifting the fence...really, it was a good analogy when I started. Anyways. I've been trying to notice privilege, and I really think I've got it right now, even if I'm only male north-north-west; when the wind is southerly...

The biggest thing, maybe, is being comfortable alone at night. Maybe that's 226lb muscular privilege, though. I'm well paid, my parent's sent me to college (Maybe that was first born privilege?). Urm. This was going to be me noticing privilege.

On the flip side, I have noticed abscence of privilege, although that could have been coincidence - I was cross-dressed (not passing, I'm sure, I wasn't even doing anything voice-wise) and ended up pigeon-holed in a conversation with some random guy about radios, being lectured. I couldn't get a word in edgewise. He seemed to intent on mis-explaining so many things I knew better than he did. I figured he was clueless socially inept fan but later it occurred to me that maybe this is what women had to deal with on a constant basis from men.
I've also noticed that I'm not quite brave enough to wander out in a skirt at the new place yet; cons are safe space, though worldcon being spread out may not feel safe.

Anyways. Not entirely coherent; I should really be packing for worldcon but I'm playing lj catch-up.