Scene

[bcholmes]

LIGHTS UP.

BC is standing in her local comic shop. She's looking for Identity Crisis number 2 because number 1 was really engaging. Only a few of her favourite titles are out since last time: Strangers in Paradise, Planetary, and Powers. This is the store she's been going to for at least four years, possibly more. Several of the owners of the store know her well enough to have a pretty accurate idea of her taste in books.

As she browses the stacks, she overhears this conversation between two patrons and one of the store owners at the cash register:

Voice A: "Thing is, you can't call them the Wachowski Brothers any more. They're the Wachowski's.

Voice B: "What's that?"

Voice A: "One of them, Larry Wachowski's come out as a transsexual."

Voice B: "Like Jeff Jones? He's had like surgery?"

Voice C: "Yeah, they changed sex."

Voice A: "No, Larry Wachowski hasn't done it all yet. He's dressing like a woman in public. 'Course, he's probably been pumped up full of more hormones than a dairy cow."

Voice B: "Is he going to have the operation?"

Voice A: "Yeah. That's why some people say that there were two sequels to The Matrix. To pay for Larry's big surgery."

Voice B: "Huh."

Voice A: "I gotta say that Larry Wachowski makes a pretty ugly woman."

Voice B: "Well, of the two of them, at least he's the more feminine of them."

Voice A: "That's not really saying much."

Voice B: "Well, there's only so much you can do."

At this point BC walks to the front of the store, offers her hand to one of the patrons and says: "Hi, I don't think we've been introduced. My name is BC Holmes, and I'm a post-operative transsexual."

Patron (looking uncomfortable): "Right. Right."

BC: "And I just want to say that I think that what you're saying is coming from a place of ignorance."

Patron: "I wasn't saying anything negative. I was just saying about the Wachowski's. I have friends who're... who're... I wasn't saying anything negative."

At this point, BC returns to her comic selection, and picks out a few more books. The voices seem to go on to other topics. When she finally cashes out, the two patrons have left. The cashier is one of the owners, who knows BC as a regular customer.

Cashier: "So, how are you today?"

BC: "Fine, thanks. You?"

Cashier: "Good. Can't complain. Do you like manga? We're giving out a free sample."

BC: "No, I'm not really into manga."

The rest of the exchange is formulaic. A price is mentioned. An Interac card is offered. We take a moment to roll our eyes about John Byrne trying to reboot Doom Patrol.

Comments

[hellsop.livejournal.com]

Place of ignorance. I like that. Much more civil than the "if you knew any less about the subject, the vaccum in your head would slurp your eyes back into your skull, like the end of a bubble tea" that I was working toward.

[eck.livejournal.com]

Wow, bravely well handled!

[icedrake.livejournal.com]

*visualizes facial expressions* Oh, BC, you rock. I'd think most of us, Canadians, wouldn't go for this sort of thing, to avoid causing discomfort. Wish I had the guts to do this sort of thing, or the diplomatic ability to do so tactfully. *Looks on with envy*

Oh, damn, this semi-reminds me. I had a question for you, but I can't remember what it was now... I'll get back to you on that... Oh!

Have you read Lois McMaster Bujold's Civil Campaign (http://catalog.loc.gov/cgi-bin/Pwebrecon.cgi?Search_Arg=civil+campaign&Search_Code=TALL&PID=857&SEQ=20040801004051&CNT=25&HIST=1)? They have a female-male transsexual there, who has to be coached in correct body language of a male, in order to pass. Any comments on this you care to make? How hard is that to acquire as an adult?

[bcholmes.livejournal.com]

I haven't read it, although I've read some of the key passages. My Evil Ex had a number of anecdotes regarding some of the things that informed McMaster Bujold.

For my part, I recall practicing certain behaviours, in an effort to pass. There was something I wrote once, on my website... ah, here it is:

I've also spent a lot of time thinking about the smile exchange protocol between women. Consider: I'm walking through a tunnel, and a woman is walking toward me. She makes eye contact and smiles. My inclination is to nod and then quickly look elsewhere. But most women meet that eye contact and smile back. I've heard some people opine that this ritual communicates something about safety. The other woman is saying, "I've just come from back there, and I think it's safe." If I don't give a return smile, I may be communicating something that makes her worried. Normal women exchange smiles without thinking about it. I'm not normal because I have to think about it.

This brings up a whole world of interesting discussions about artifice and realness. I'm wrapping myself in this carefully practiced behaviour so that people can see me as something I think of as "the real me". Y'know?

[icedrake.livejournal.com]

Oooh, this brings up a whole new slew of questions. Stop me at any time!

First of all, I might be not the most masculine example of a male, but I always smile at people who smile at me on the street. Also, I notice that this doesn't happen as much in the US, unless you're in rural parts, where everyone knows you anyway.

Second, what you said makes me wonder about things like perception of personal safety. After you transitioned, did your perception of what's safe and what isn't change any?

[sinboy.livejournal.com]

I have friends who're... who're...

Could they sound any more moronic? "Some of my best friends are...[Fill-in-the-blank]". Sheesh.

[thespian.livejournal.com]

Part of me wishes, for the whole 'structure of scene' sense, you had labelled the owner A, and the other voices B & C.

I am always interested by the argument that "I can't be homophobic (or anti-semitic, or whatever prejudice they claim not to be), some of my best friends are...."

I have fewer problems telling strangers when they've expressed an opinion I find offensive than I do telling my friends. I have problems telling people I really like when they're offending me, because I know that *I* tend to worry about how I've offended them, has it been bothering them for a while, yadda yadda? So I wind up not wanting to bother the people closest to me.

[silverkarakuri.livejournal.com]

You always were the strong one...

[wild-irises.livejournal.com]

I think you did fabulously, and I also think that they did about the best that could be expected under the circumstances. They'll think about what they say next time ...

[firecat]

Go you! Embarrassment can be a powerful teacher.

[boxofdelights]

Yay BC!

[nolly.livejournal.com]

I dunno. Maybe I'm not seeing it, but I didn't see anything especially offensive in what was said.

Well, given that I have no idea what Larry W. looks like.

But...I don't see any sweeping generalizations, and it seems correct to say "You can't call them brothers". Maybe there was tone I'm not reading, but I don't get it.

[bcholmes.livejournal.com]

Fair enough.

For my part, I don't think that his comments were offensive so much as ignorant. The idea that the Larry Wachowski would need an additional four million dollars to pay for surgery is risible. And his comments about being pumped full of more hormones than a dairy cow was a less-than-flattering comparison.

I'll also confess that I am Downright Testy when people judge trans folk on how beautiful/ugly they are. Heck, I'm Downright Testy when people judge anyone on how beautiful/ugly they are.

[nolly.livejournal.com]

Fair enough. I recall one conversation with a now-ex coworker who saw no conflict between "All bodies are beautiful" and "Some people shouldn't wear spandex".

[dragon3.livejournal.com]

Good for you. Speaking up is hard, but it feels so much better after the fact, especially when people take some positive notice.

Ryk