WisCon, Part the Second: Alternate Lifestyles

[bcholmes]

I read something once about a guy in a bookstore who saw a section about "alternate lifestyles" and imagined that it involved biographical accounts of people in Jekyll-and-Hyde situations, constantly flitting back and forth between one form and another.

Word geekage is fun, sometimes.

I arrived in Madison around 10:30 PM on Friday evening. I had missed the day's programming, but conveniently, the registration desk was still open at that hour of the evening, so I could pick up my badge and program book ("The WisCon 26 Unsurpassed Perfectly Organized Domestic-Partner-of-the-Mother-of-All-Programs Pocket Program")

The sixth floor is where people hang out after hours at WisCon. I wandered up there and immediately found myself in a GLBT party. I sat down beside a woman, noticed her TG pin and said, "nice pin." She said, "I think you were the one who gave it to me as WisCon two years ago." Oh, yeah, I remember that. I have a lot of TG pins and I give them to people.

I talked with her partner for a while about the process of choosing names (and how odd it is when people ask, "what made your parents choose that name?") during transition. I had it easy. I was BC before my transition, and I'm still BC now.

And then I started bumping into people I recognized: Erik, Tracey, Tracy, Ian, kalikanzeros, kalmn, Joanna, and Alan. Before the evening was over, I had a handful of meal dates worked out, and hours of good conversation.

I shared a room with kalikanzeros and we gabbed until four in the morning. The next morning I slept in until almost noon, had lunch and then went to my first panel, "Alternative Lovestyles" -- a panel on Polyamory.

Some interesting remembrances:

• There were two people in the panel audience who weren't poly and I kept getting cognitive disonance every time they would ask "how did you decide to become poly." I kept imagining people writing out little tables of pros and cons and carefully weighing the possibilities before making a final decision.

• We got into the inevitable safer-sex discussion. At first it was the basic conversation, then we started talking about more 201 points -- do we used latex during digital sex ("I'm not into having sex with my computer, thank you," said one woman)? What if one is having digital sex with more than one person? What are the risks of STD transmission? Does washing one's hands with tap water in between partners reduce that risk? Why is it so hard to find risk of, say, gonorrhea transmission for unprotected sex involving two females?

• My eye was caught by someone Very Interesting. I have a thing for purple hair, I guess, since Siobhan had purple hair when I first met her. Never did anything other than be Very Interested, mind you.

• There was an interesting discussion about jealousy -- not having jealousy as one normally talks in poly circles, but dealing with one's partner's other partner having jealousy. Interesting conversation.

• One person made a really interesting comment about jealousy striking her and manifesting itself as "I'm just not fun enough" rather than "I'm less attractive" or "I'm too old" or any of the typical stuff.

After the panel, I got to hug heather and make more meal arrangements. It was cool.

Comments

[firecat]

One person made a really interesting comment about jealousy striking her and manifesting itself as "I'm just not fun enough" rather than "I'm less attractive" or "I'm too old" or any of the typical stuff.

I get that manifestation of jealousy/envy a heckuva lot.

[deepforestowl.livejournal.com]

huh....purple hair, I'll have to remember that. LOL