Gah. I Shouldn't Read the Conservative Platform

[bcholmes]

So, off I go to the website of the Conservative Party of Canada to find out what they think the issues are:

Lower Taxes	Read: "I'm planning on shafting health care." (I like taxes. I think that taxes are a good thing.) But while we're on this point, how is it that Harper plans to cut taxes and table a budget that's $50 billion dollars higher than the other parties are proposing? That's more than double, by the way.
Support for our Canadian Forces	I have a bit of sympathy for this point, but almost certainly not in the ways that Harper imagines. I like the fact that Canada is well-known for its peace-keeper forces, and I know of cases where lack of funding has hindered that role. But Harper wants us in Iraq. He believed that Canadian forces should have gone to Iraq. (I think he and Don Cherry are possibly the only Canadians who think that, but hey).
Safe Communities The Conservative Party will fight to reduce crime and violence. We will scrap the long-gun registry and redirect the money to law enforcement.	Even speaking as a pro gun control nut, I am inclined to think that the gun registry is a project that failed miserably. This is a rare case where I am inclined to agree with the gun lobby. And am I the only one who hears "safe communities" and thinks "gated communities"? (I'm reminded about that that article about SUVs and the feeling of safety)
Canadians on Fixed Incomes	Gotta get the seniors vote.
Investing in Infrastructure	"The Conservative Party will fight for infrastructure investments. We will redirect federal gas taxes into roads and other critical infrastructure." While cutting our taxes.
Access to Higher Education We will modernize the student loan program to help students overcome the financial barriers to education and training.	Not, I'll point out, "We will lower tuitions". Or "We'll make higher education freely available." No. They'll "modernize" student loans. Maybe that means that students will get credit cards with a credit limit high enough to charge tuition. That's modern, isn't it?
Definition of Marriage The Conservative Party will fight to give a greater voice to Parliament. We will ensure that issues like marriage are decided by parliament, not the courts.	"Damn those courts. Upholding the laws, and all. And damn those gays, trying to actually use the rights that Trudeau codified."
Canada’s Place in the World The Conservative Party will fight for Canada’s national interest. We will stand with our allies and international bodies against terrorism and for the basic values of freedom and democracy.	Canada's Place in the World Bottoming to Dubya
Auditor General	Conceptually, probably a meaningful thing. In this instance, it means "let's keep reminding people about the Sponsor Scandal"
Support for Agriculture The Conservative Party will fight for farmers. We will protect farmers against conditions outside their control and vigorously defend them in international trade negotiations.	No jokes. I find it odd that this isn't a bigger issue in Canada this election, what with mad cow and all.
Defending our Fisheries The Conservative Party will fight for our fisheries. We will decentralize fisheries decision-making and ensure that EI provides adequate income protection in case of job loss.	Because no one can legitimately say that we've made trout extinct.
Immigrant Credentials The Conservative party will fight for immigrants. We will work to ensure speedier recognition of foreign credentials and prior work experience.	This is a valid point, although I'm generally wary of right wing immigration policies.
Cleaner Environment	"But heaven forbid that we adopt things like the Kyoto accord."
Protecting Children	"Protect the children!!!!!!!!!"
Canada – US Relations The Conservative Party will fight for our primary producers in trade disputes. We will stand shoulder to shoulder with the US when we can so that we can sit eyeball to eyeball when we must.	"Eyeball to eyeball"? What the hell does that mean? Forget that we've been suing the US for violating the Free Trade Agreements every year since Free Trade came into effect. Harper still wants to be best buddies with them, send our troops to Iraq and still talk tough.

Comments

[futabachan.livejournal.com]

[Harper] believed that Canadian forces should have gone to Iraq. (I think he and Don Cherry are possibly the only Canadians who think that, but hey).

Yeah, after all, it's mostly the Europeans and French guys who are staying out....