bcholmes | Can You Go Home Again?

Between mid-1998 and late 2000, I let a lot of my friendships slide. It was a period in which I was definitely not in my happy place, and I became something of a recluse, not really seeing many people.

Over the last year, though, I've managed to get back in touch with a number of old friends. I managed to track down my Really Important Friend Johanna and reconnect with her. And I've been more actively getting together with the gang of friends from high-school/University.

Last night, for the first time in a coupl'a years, I had dinner with my friend, Christopholes. I met Chris in 1981/82 -- I was in grade 10, and Chris was in grade 11. We became good friends and spent a lot of time with each other. Chris first introduced me to Zen koans and is partially responsible for my love of Toronto.

(A memory: we took a day trip to Toronto while we were still in high-school. It's a three-hour drive from Sarnia to Toronto, and I'd never done anything like that before in my life. Chris was shopping for electronic parts, and knew all the surplus stores on Yonge street and Queen Street West. We rushed back to the Toronto Eaton Centre, racing to see the original Lord of the Rings movie that was still playing at the Cineplex. It was the first time I'd seen a moviehouse with 21 different theatres in it, and I was fascinated with the tiny, tiny little auditoriums.)

Chris wandered in with an armload of camera equipment. He'd been at the Royal Ontario Museum photographing the mummies. He's thrown himself into Egyptology in the last coupl'a years. He confirmed the rumour that I'd heard through the grapevine: he's getting married. Next month.

You're different, now, Chris, I thought. Gone is the biting sarcasm, and the fascination with the medium of film. No evidence of the silly side that collected pink flamingos and put John Lennon sunglasses on stuffed bunnies.

Chris and I lived together one term in a basement apartment in East York. And again in University. He was the first person I came out to as trans. And in many ways I feel like I don't even know him, now.

Chris talked about his increasing awareness of the passage of time. At the end of the evening, I was aware of it, too.