Okay, Let's try this...

So everyone else seems to be in the LiveJournal business lately. So much so that it seems like Usenet has become more fluffy. I used to read alt.poly to hear about what's going on in people's lives; now I only find these things out by reading people's LiveJournals. Hurm.

I had dinner with a friend from alt.poly last night; she was in Toronto so Siobhan and I met her at an Indian place on Bloor. It was cool.

Why this? Why now?

Brutally honest moment. I set up this LiveJournal shortly after discovering that an ex-sweetie of mine has been talking about our relationship in less-than-flattering terms.

I've been avoiding talking about it in public, except in very general terms. Now, having read my ex's words I feel really... hurt. So I created this journal. But to do what? To tell my side of the story? To vent? To call names? I don't know.

It was all a bit impulsive. I have been thinking of setting up a live journal for a while. I've read any number of other people's journals. It seems like a really cool forum to turn into words the things that are going on in my head. For a long time, I've used my web page for that. I still do, I guess.

A couple of years ago, I had a big fight with someone whom I considered a friend at the time. And it was hard for me to process my feelings about that fight. So I wrote them out. I got some criticism from some of my other friends about that -- people telling me that it was unfair of me to talk about that kinda stuff in a forum where the other person can't respond. And, yeah, I hafta concede that there's some unfairness about it all. So I've avoided talking about the break-up on my web page.

I don't know. I haven't figured out what I'm doing here.

Distracted...

I'm at work now.

At 12:30 pm local time, I was preparing a document for a meeting with my client, who was due to show up at 1:15. At 12:45, I went off to find some lunch and read my e-mail. I opened up an e-mail sent to me a few days ago by a friend from a Usenet newsgroup; her e-mail had a link to her live journal. From there, I found my ex's live journal. I probably just shouldn't've read it. But I did.

1:15 rolled around. I talked to my client. But I was distracted. Fact is, I was shaking. Then I went into a 2:00 status meeting that I chaired.

I want to stop thinking about this. I want to think pleasant, happy things. Sei Shonagon made lists, and maybe I should, too.

Top 5 Recent Movies That I've Enjoyed

1. Wit


2. Memento


3. Amelie


4. The Royal Tanenbaums


5. Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter

Okay, do I feel better? No, not really.

What do these films have in common? Hurm. Difficult question.

They engage me. Most of them make me laugh. Not Memento, though. And not really Wit.

Distracting myself from distraction

I went out to the pub after work to take my mind off my ex.

The company where I work has a hockey team, and every Friday afternoon, half the company disappears to go play hockey. After hockey, a lot of people drop by the local pub for a beer.

I don't drink, but I go out for iced tea and conversation. And nachos. Mmmm... I like the nachos there.

So we gabbed. We were talking about perspectives of God. Someone was telling me about Simone Weil, of whom I'd never heard before.

No human being escapes the necessity of conceiving some good outside himself towards which his thought turns in a movement of desire, supplication, and hope.

-Simone Weil

I don't know if I have any gut-level reaction to that.

Siobhan thinks it rather amusing that I go out to the pub; I've always avoided bars (the cigarette smoke has always bothered me).

I came home and talked to my sweeties about the ex's LiveJournal. Siobhan said something interesting: she said, "sometimes you learn more about people when you're breaking up with them then you do when you're together."

Yeah. I can definitely see that.