New Narratives

[bcholmes]

“Could the doctors have made a mistake? Could I have accidentally been born a girl? I should’ve been born a boy. Can that happen?”

Jo describes this pivotal moment as “terrifying.”

“‘I have to be honest. I can’t lie.’ That’s what went through my head,” she tells me.

Jo’s reply to her child’s pressing question was simple: “Yes, that can happen.”

Her emotions were not so simple.

“That was the hardest part, trying to be supportive to your child and act like it’s no big deal and inside you’re exploding,” she says.

There’s a lengthy pause and then Jo says: “I’m sorry. I’m trying not to cry just talking about it now.”

Reflecting on that crucial conversation with Sophie, Jo says she was both “terrified for my child” and “very sad.”

“Back then I knew nothing about having a transgender child.

“I didn’t know where I was going to go from here, what was going to happen, what sort of life my child would have.

“Also, the idea of losing my only daughter, as well, was quite sad. I really wanted a daughter and all of a sudden I was going to have two sons,” Jo explains.

— ‘Mum, could the doctor have made a mistake?’

I suppose I understand that it’s considered a sign of progress that we’ve moved from “My child is a freak; I’m kicking the kid out!” to “I’m grieving to learn that my child isn’t cisgender. Oh, woe, for my shattered expectations.” But I’m already pretty tired of the new narrative.

Mirrored from Under the Beret.

Comments

[firecat]

I keep seeing ads at the movie theater for a TV show about the feels of cisgender people about their transgender relatives, or at least that's what the ad makes it seem like it's about. Not a show I'm planning to watch.

[j00j]

The really amazing part about that ad playing at the movie theater is then you get to hear the transphobic opinions of the strangers who will surround you for the length of the movie. UGH.

[firecat]

Oh ewwwwww.

I usually go to movies at 11am on Mondays when I have the theater almost to myself, so I haven't been subjected to that.

[rosefox]

Ugh, I just saw a video like this where the mother lets go of a boy balloon and it flies away and then a girl balloon swoops in and she catches it and smiles. Made me cringe all over.

[wrdnrd]

Is that the one that ends with the mother saying things like "I miss my little boy SO MUCH. Sometimes i wonder where he is" and "How do i teach my little girl how to be girl"?? Really made me uncomfortable. How were you "teaching" him to be a boy?!

[rosefox]

Yeah, I think so. I did my best to block it out.

[wrdnrd]

I’m already pretty tired of the new narrative.

Instead of spilling 5,000 words of feelings all over your comments, i'm just going with: YES. Agree.

[bibliofile]

Argh, yeah, no.

The latest Frontline (serious news documentaries on public TV) was "Growing up trans." Fortunately, the parents seemed to cover the complete spectrum, from the copuple who supported their kid from the first moment thru the man who wouldn't agree to delaying puberty for months into puberty. The thing focused on the kids at least as much as the parents -- and also healthcare and support professionals. I'm no expert, mind, but it didn't entirely suck.