Well, I'm not dumb but I can't understand/Why she walks like a woman and talks like a man

[bcholmes]

That whole thing where (some) cis people want a clear, unambiguous protocol for knowing what pronoun to use to refer to any potential trans person that they meet? I've decided to start referring to that as "pronoun theatre," a la Bruce Schneier.

Comments

[kalmn]

i have started hanging out in groups here where when we do introductions at the beginning, you say your name and your pronouns. it's awesome.

[sparkymonster]

YES

[jiawen]

That can backfire too, though. I was once in a primarily trans group where we introduced ourselves by stating our preferred pronouns, but that got dropped after one very masculine guy said, in a rather snooty way, "I prefer male pronouns, obviously" or words to that effect. I don't know if he intended it to, but it very effectively shamed people whose pronouns aren't obvious, in what feels like a combination of male privilege and passing privilege. So the way it's said can be very important, I guess I'm trying to say.

[firecat]

Ah, it makes me remember the old days on alt.poly when twisted knickers would appear everywhere as soon as someone used zie or zir.

[serene]

I like it!

(I've taken, if someone asks me what someone else's gender is, to saying either "Why do you need to know?" or "I haven't asked, because I figured it was none of my business." The second is much more effective at shutting people up.)

[serene]

There are still a couple ba.foodies who do that to every post your OH makes.

[firecat]

So true. I get kind of sick of seeing the same underwear over and over.

[bcholmes]

Do they at least wash the underwear? 'Cause... yuck.